Inner Ear

    Was at Lumiere earlier this morning to gamble.  Didn't do that great.  But it wasn't the slot machines I was having a problem with.

   After being there for 15 or 20 minutes  (maybe more) I realized I could hear at least 2 voices in my head (not that unusual for me - supposedly I have schizophrenia.  All my friends or indeterminate friends that still talk to me are saying that now.   It must be true.

   When I finished playing on that machine I started to stand up and moved to my left.  The voices I was hearing stopped.  I shifted my weight again and could feel one of my phones vibrating/buzzing in my pocket.  Took the phone out and it continued to buzz as I held it.  Turned it back and forth and hear the voices fade in and out.

   I hadn't dialed anyone's number and I hadn't answered the phone either.  So how was this going on in the middle of the slot machines at Lumiere?  I like taunts, insults, and occasional profanity as much as anyone (Though I have to point out what's being done seems intended to pull those kind of details from the persons's mind being targeted.  But to make things confusing it can be done either away) but they can be distracting when a person close by is saying them.  I was hearing those things more inside my head than through my ears.

   There was another involuntary subvocalization that triggered before I left related to 2 people I know. Will provide details at some point but it was the normal kind of thing i 'hear' when I'm gambling at Lumiere.  It's been going on for several months.

   Started driving back home and checked my phone for messages.  As i looked at the screen I involuntarily subvocalized "I wonder what [someone] is doing.".  Almost before I finished the subvocalization there was a response queued up that replied 'he's here [at the party you weren't invited to] across the river'.

  I don't know if there was a party of some kind going on across the river or somewhere else.  But I definitely wasn't invited to it.  I haven't been invited to any (though someone may have sounded me out as a pre-invite a couple times) probably because the people at those parties have been helping with the harassment I've been having.

   That pre-invite thing?  My guess is they were curious whether I would give up trying to find out who's been harassing me and take back everything I'd said.  If I was amenable to that I MAYBE would be invited again to whatever kind of party my friends go to.

Seems doubtful the trade-off would be worth it.